15 Things I Learned in One Year About Offices/Work

I graduated from Nift in 2011 and its almost been a year that I have been working now. I’ve completed a month at the new office and have already learnt so much it’s mind boggling. Here’s a list:

1. The best way to find a typo in a work email is to hit the send button and wait for two seconds.
2. When god closes one door he opens another. Exactly like these guys  in the office. Ruining the air conditioning all the time.
3. Sending mails with ‘Please Find Attached’ and then forgetting to add any attachment will only be embarrassing for the first 4-5 times you do it. Then you get used to it.
4. You shouldn’t unplug things in the office to charge your phone without asking first.
5. For so many years I’ve believed its ‘Bagh’ Bakri whereas actually it is ‘Wagh’ Bakri chai, and the clients are not too happy if you change the brands name in the creatives.
6. ‘As soon as possible’ is everyone’s favourite deadline.
7. The jerk off motion does not mean “pass the ketchup” in sign language. That’s a mistake I will not make again.
8. Fabricator ki pehli pasand – Rana T-iron aur sariya (This I hear every morning on the radio while driving to work)
9. Meetings are when you sit down and pretend like you’re listening, but in your head you make a list on the things you would rather do had you not been sitting in that meeting.
10. Monday’s are mostly like playing Jenga when you’re drunk with a 6.0 earthquake outside.
11. Somewhere out there is a man sniffing his armpit, deciding he smells fine. Fate will bring him and you in close proximity in the Delhi metro.
12. There’s always a pubic hair strategically placed on the floor in the bathroom. But not to worry. After a few weeks, you don’t even notice it.
13. If there’s is some CRM department in your office, it doesn’t stand for ‘Come Rescue Me’. Its some customer relationship management thingy.
14. You will never figure out how the HR people say the shit they say with a straight face (Unless you are in HR). Same goes for the marketing lot.
15. Its best not to tell people that the pen on your table doubles up as excellent ball scratcher before or after they put them in their mouths.